Living in White Liberal Spaces After the Election
November 30, 2016
Since the election I’ve become increasingly aware of the distance between myself and the white liberals with whom I often share space. It seems impolite or even treacherous to write about this given the sociopolitical climate.
The last thing I want to do is alienate white allies who are theoretically interested in trying to dismantle white supremacy, sexism, xenophobia and homophobia. We already know what their conservative white family members think of people like me. However, I find it necessary to call a spade a spade if we are going to make any progress in this struggle.
I attend a well-meaning Unitarian Universalist (UU) church sincerely engaged in anti-racism work. The church, like most UU congregations, is filled with white liberals who want to see more black and brown faces on Sunday, or at the very least, want to do what they can to live by the first UU principle of valuing the inherent worth and dignity of all people. The institution is committed to racial justice, and it has been struggling to fulfill that commitment for decades. I also recently became a member of a local yoga studio — another place that white liberals like to frequent. This studio seems committed to social justice and engages its yogi community in doing charitable works. Yogis have a long history of being perceived as individuals who are enlightened and wise, and I assume this translates to being racially conscious (i.e. woke).
As a queer woman of color I’m struggling to live in these white liberal spaces since America showed its racist ass on November 8th. Look, I’m not completely shocked by the elections: our country has a long and ugly history of racism, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia. It’s part of our constitutional makeup. As others have said, the election has brought to the surface and validated what our white liberal friends have tried to convince us really didn’t exist anymore when we elected a black man for president. Forget the fact that our conservative white leaders have essentially shut down the government for the last 8 years and may successfully destroy the democratic institutions we have built for the last few hundred years, but maybe they are doing us a favor. (That’s another blog.)
In the last few weeks since the election, I’ve been told by white allies at the yoga studio and at church that “It’s going to be alright,” or “We just need to love each other” as a way to bring me (and my kind — the most vulnerable members of Trump’s America) comfort in these post-post-racial times. I’ve seen these people wear big safety pins to let me and other marginalized individuals know they didn’t vote for that white man, and that they are the nice, safe white people. As Lara Witt wrote, “A safety pin does not give PoC any proof of you actually dismantling oppressive structures.”
Here’s what I have to say to white allies.
Don’t tell me or anyone like me that everything is going to be okay. It’s a promise you can’t keep. The effects of this election and the choice we made as a nation may affect us in completely different ways. You are likely not in the line of fire. Your choice to care about and maybe even stand up for marginalized people and communities is still a choice. And although I appreciate your values and politics, your reality isn’t always our reality. So de-center your white liberal experience. Your okay is not my okay. Recognize what you need to do to make yourself feel better — whether that’s wearing a pin or actually doing something that marginalized communities have asked you to do to show support. Then decide what more you will do to get closer to becoming an accomplice in the fight for racial and economic justice, not simply an ally.
As for people of color, we have been here before. The last three weeks, I had to remind myself of this by reading about previous struggles by our ancestors. I had to remind myself that I cannot and will not live in fear. I urge you to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and your family, even if that means taking a break from white liberal progressive spaces and seeking spaces with other people of color or communities who share your experience. Please don’t feel guilty or have any reservations about what you need to recharge. There is a season for everything; it’s winter and the perfect time to store up your energy for the long fight ahead. For some of us, we don’t have a choice — we work in predominantly white spaces. Churches or yoga studios are places we choose to engage. These spaces don’t always fill our cups, but we have made conscious choices to join them, in part to push them to do more for us, and others like us. I hope to be able to return to these spaces more fully after taking some time to be with other people of color, and I hope to find the white liberals more ready to receive me.
